Mental exhaustion

I admit it…I’m in a foul mood but I’m doing a real good job at hiding it. But maybe it’s not a foul mood. I think it might be mental exhaustion from the 3 day working week that just finished, in which I feel like I did 2 weeks worth of work within those 3 days – and I still didn’t finish everything. I always finish everything. I am an ultra-organised perfectionist who works hard. I’ve never worked in a job whereby I haven’t finished everything I needed to. I know how to prioritise and delegate. It’s just, you need to have people to delegate too, and you need to have 5 minutes in order to reassess those priorities.

I remembered this morning that I forgot to have breakfast yesterday. I keep sachets of microwave porridge in my desk draw at work. I had intended to eat it whilst my PC was booting up at work. I didn’t do it. And I didn’t even realise I was hungry until someone told me how pale I was. It was about 2.00pm by the time I ate, and the shakes had set in. But I was still beavering away, trying to meet the end of month deadline – close of business Friday 29 April.

I walked out of work at 6.15pm last night just wanting to cry. I don’t like submitting sub-standard work, but until we get more staff, I need to come to terms with the fact that this needs to be done. At least I’m not alone as my team mate did the same. We ere the only ones left on our respective floors of the office – and we were pissed off.

Ah – writing this has made me feel slightly better. I needed a little rant.

Nighty night!


New Experiences at Work – Drug and Alcohol Test Anyone?

I experienced something new at work today. I got random drug and alcohol tested! WOOH!

I should explain. I work on a ‘dry site’, which basically means there is a zero tolerance policy – no drugs or alcohol (so gone are the lunch time drinkies noooooo). If you get caught with anything in your system you are out of there. And they do test for it – I was warned that much when I started the job.

So today, after dodging calls on my work phone from an anonymous number, I finally answered it and received my summons to the ground floor ladies toilets and the drug testers, who sounded rather gruff. When I got their they were actually really friendly. There sat the Drug Testers – 2 older ladies gas-bagging about the long weekend and how everyone must still be on leave as they were having trouble getting hold of people to test (hmmm maybe they were avoiding picking up their phones?).

After the initial question and answer session which went something like this:

Drug Tester 1: Have you taken drugs in the last 10-14 days?

Me: What do you mean by drugs?

Drug Tester 1: Drugs.

Me: Do you mean, like, Panadol or Nurofen?

Drug Tester 1: Which one did you take?

Me: Um I think Panadol (What if I’m wrong – oh no!)? Do you count alcohol as a drug?

Drug Tester 2: No, unless you were drinking up until 7am this morning?

Me: Ah…no! (Why did I feel like I was lying when I wasn’t?).

– came the breath test for alcohol, of which I can proudly say that I blew 0.000%. But that was the easy bit, as what followed could have been traumatic.

As Drug Tester 1 escorted me into the ladies, I was instructed to put on some latex gloves (there was something awfully strange about snapping them on my hands in preparation for a drug test), handed a cup and lead into a cubicle. It was hear that I almost experienced a heart attack as I was struck by a thought:

Me: Was she going to stand over me and watch me pee into a cup?

It turned out I wasn’t just thinking this, as the words somehow escaped my mouth.

Drug Tester 1: No dear. You can close the door. Just don’t flush, and pee up to the line on the cup. I’ll be right outside the door.

Okay…nothing like pressure and deathly silence, to get you to perform.

After a few minutes, and a whole load of nothing, I had to ask the question:

Me: What happens if I can’t go?

Drug Tester 1: I’ll turn on the tap. Sometimes running water helps.

And help it did! It’s amazing how the mind messes with your bodily functions.

So I passed my specimen cup to the Drug Tester and she preceded to compare the sample to a colour chart. I can proudly say that I passed the drug test, and no further testing was required…until next time. At least I now know what will get me to perform!

Monday Photo-day: iPhone Photo Apps

This is my favourite photo. This is my niece Charlotte, and I adore her.

I can’t take the credit for taking the photo – that belongs to my partner Denis. He captured her innocence and beauty perfectly.

I thought this photo would make a beautiful pencil sketch, and I tried to convince my partner to draw something from the actual photo (as he is an amazing drawer), but in the meantime I tried converting it to a pencil sketch using a free App on my iPhone called PhotoFunia. I think it looks stunning.

Experimenting with iPhone Apps


How to live before you die

I first watched this video about 10 months ago when I was dealing with the death of a family member, suffering from the return of my depression and generally searching for something…anything. This video of a speech given by Steve Jobs just hit me. It made me sit up and really think about life.

The video draws ‘from some of the most pivotal points in his life. Steve Jobs, chief executive officer and co-founder of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, urged graduates to pursue their dreams and see the opportunities in life’s setbacks — including death itself — at the university’s 114th Commencement on June 12, 2005.’

It doesn’t matter what your opinion is of Steve Jobs…this speech is given by a man, a human being…and the message is one for us all.

Let me know your thoughts.