We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

Stevie Wonder

I’m melancholy. I sit here after a few champagnes, feeling a bit ill. It’s not because I drank too much. I’ve felt clammy and fatigued all day and I think I am really run down. Of course, I shouldn’t be drinking. I know. I just needed something to take the edge off. I mean – It’s Friday night. It’s bad enough that I cancelled my plans as I felt like shite. And I I did feel like shite ALL day. And now I feel even more like shite as I’m missing out on something I really wanted to go to. But, I needed to take a stand and come straight home from work, instead of hitting the town. I just needed to take time out and ground myself. The plan is to do it for the entire weekend…I won’t leave the house for any other reason except to get groceries…

Which brings me to the quote. Stevie Wonder. Soul King. Amazing man. I never really appreciated him until I met my partner – Denis – who introduced me to the world of soul and R’n’B. Up until then I had been a grunge/metal/alternative girl (with a secret love for pop/dance music).

‘We all have the ability.’

We do. It’s just we often don’t recognise that we do. We put such limitations on ourselves sometimes, we just don’t realise our own self-worth and what we are capable of…what we CAN do.

‘The difference is how we use it.’

Well said. We all live our lives a certain way, according to a certain creed. We use our abilities for good, for bad, for evil, to help, to sabotage, to love, to hate, to make a difference, to hide the truth, to make the best out of life, to maintain the status quo.

I’m personally at a cross roads. I know I am capable of so much. And I want to make a difference. I want to do something in life to help, to make people happy, to make the people I love happy, to make me happy. In this blogosphere and world of social media I encounter so many people leaving the rat race and doing some AMAZING work…how do you do it? I’m scared?

26 thoughts on “We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

  1. Janine

    Speaking strictly as a photographer, one way you can make an immediate difference is to take your photography passion and offer your services free animal shelters, shots for posters etc, portraiture for people who cannot afford that service etc. Things like that. It a place to start.

  2. Hi Janine,

    Sometimes you just have to step off the cliff. I did. It was the quickest way to find my wings. Am I scared? Absolutely! Mind numbingly terrified. It’s my motivation to succeed and rediscover the passion that went missing somewhere on life’s journey. You go girl!

  3. Hi Janine! I think that you need to work at making YOU happy before anything else. Take good care of yourself, be easy on you…then and only then, find a project that you like and work on it. It can be anything. I used to visit old people with no family and loved it. You have a talent for blogging and photography…The sky is the limit!

    • : ) Thanks sweety. That’s very touching and I like that thought. On the eve of the 1st anniversary of my Nan’s death I am missing the ‘wise’ persons touch. It’s so sweet actually – I was walking along the other day (or charging along) and I had to stop to look at something, but I was in the way of an elderly man (it appeared he was out with his son). I stepped aside and smiled, and he put his arm around me and laughed and said something sweet. It touched me so and made so much of my day. (possibly his too putting his arm around a younger lady hehe). I swear his son looked at us as if we were crazy, but I thought it was a beautiful moment.

  4. You know sitting at a crossroad too long only makes you dusty lol. Making the choice of which way to go always seems to get harder and harder the longer I wait so I’ve learned to follow my heart and go quickly. Still scary though. I suppose playing it safe all the time is one path, is it yours?

  5. Great advice here from all the commenters. I also wish I could leave the rat race and do what I love full time. For me, though, there is no money in poetry, but I do whatever I can in my spare time to practice the craft and to achieve a measure of success in the field. I also encourage you to follow your dreams even if it means taking small steps at first. It is very scary but after taking that first step, run for cover. When you see that the world hasn’t caved in, take another step, then another. Soon, you will realize there is nothing you can’t do! ❤

  6. I wish I could tell you that “scared” isn’t part of the equation but it is. i run into obstacles every single week that scare me or polarize me and I have to just decide that I’m going to push right on through to my goal. It’s not easy BUT it does become reconizable for what it is. Negative self talk and self doubt. Nothing more. The truth is, you DO have much to offer the world. Go for it! We are all here cheering you on!

  7. I think what you need to do first, Janine, is value yourself. You can’t worry about making other people happy, because it’s not your job to. Your job is to make yourself happy. If that means helping others than do so, in whatever way you see fit. Volunteer your time or join an organization you feel is suited for you. You’ll find that in helping others, you’ll be making yourself happy and in turn bringing happiness to others, not giving them happiness. I hope that makes sense. I saw a program on netflix recently called The Secret, check it out, I think it may help, especially if you’re a spiritual person. You have a great big heart, share it with others. 🙂

    • Thanks Dennis. I started reading ‘The Secret’ when I was in the UK last but didn’t finish it. I had heard of the program also, and that it was really good, so I will take a gander!

  8. What a wonderful post. Sure, you were melancholic but more importantly you were HONEST with yourself and made a great choice to get the rest your body seemed to be craving. Those are are great attributes.

    Using the honesty to answer your own questions about what makes you happy might help. One question I ask clients is “how do you want to be remembered and for what do you want to be remembered”. It’s not meant to be a morbid question but one that cuts through the chase and hopefully inspires a sense of positivity that you can feel throughout your body. You have the perfect weekend to start thinking! Good luck

    • Keyuri – thank you for commenting as I did ponder these words this weekend. I also got sick – but that was my body releasing pent up stress, etc. One decision made already. And – the good thing is that I already know how I want to be remembered, and some of what I would like to be remembered for. It is going against that in some way that has lead me to feeling this way – as part of me is going in my true direction, the other isn’t. Time to rectify that.

  9. Janine,

    This is absolutely beautiful. It made me cry because I’m right there with you. I can’t offer any answers, but I can tell you that I understand how you’re feeling.

    You’ve made such a difference in my life already. You’ve supported and inspired me; you’ve made me feel as if I really CAN change my life; you’ve opened up the world to me and I feel as if it’s perfectly possible for me to collaborate on a book project; to leave a world I don’t belong in, and to discover a new world where people will welcome me.

    You’re not really at a cross-roads, my beautiful friend. You’ve already chosen the path of love, happiness and helping others. You just have to fill in the details!

    Sending love from Canada. ❤

    • Oh Jenny – sorry to make you cry! In reading this I got teary too – hehe.
      You seemed to be going form strength to strength this week (which I know people like us are especially good at giving that impression when it’s not exactly so!). I cannot wait for the birthday celebrations for your blog!
      Thanks for the kind words – meeting you has certainly been a blessing in disguise, and I look forward to seeing you here one day. Remind me we need to talk about jet lag, how to cope on long haul flights, etc!!!
      I love what you say about ‘just filling in the details…’
      Ah – here goes!

  10. I won’t necessarily help you do it, but I’ve always taken inspiration from William James who wrote that “the best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.” It’s at least a reminder. The commenters who note that first one must be happy with themselves, value themselves, or be honest with themselves are all correct. If those are not problems for you, then it’s all about Nike – just do it.

    • I love those words of wisdom Thom – ‘Just do it.’
      I let the old voices make an appearance, accompanied by the effects of being run down (which turns out I was getting sick cause now I am!) a negative work environment, accidently missing taking one anti-depressant (scary), and the fact that I’m letting some negative self talk even exist! You are so correct that the other commenters are happy with themselves and value themselves. Tomorrow I’m going to do something about the work situation. I’ve now taken some time out this weekend also to look after my body. My mind feels better for opening up and ‘talking’ to my on-line friends, which has resulted in some brilliant advise and love.

  11. Well Janine,
    Life offers these crossroads to everyone at different times. Finding meaning and purpose – wondering what it all means – there are different answers for everyone. I agree, based on what you’ve written, it would be a good idea to make a major time commitment to help someone else. Perhaps you should consider working with children or being a mom. Parenting is remarkably fulfilling.

  12. Janine, Outstanding post. I can relate to your melancholy state of mind, to not wanting to go out over a weekend but rather to concentrate and take time to ground yourself. Sometimes, it’s necessary to get away from the hubbub of life and look inwards.
    You raise some important questions. We all have the ability, yes, but do we all know or recognize what our ability is and how to use it? The very fact that you are questioning yourself in an honest and open way is an indication that you’re on the right path. You write, “I’m scared?” with a question mark. I think that most of us are sometimes also scared or apprehensive or timid about how to use our ability effectively. You might be surprised to find how many people have gone through or are experiencing similar qualms and concerns. I agree, the blogosphere and social media can be overwhelming and the competition presents a tremendous challenge, but from what I can tell, it’s belief in what you’re saying – your message – plus determination and, forgive that overused word, your passion, that prevail in the end.

    • Your last sentence especially strikes a chord with me today as I read it, in particular relevance to a situation I find myself in. It will encourage me to stick to my guns and integrity.

  13. Touched my heart !!! Sometimes the first step is the hardest one to take..You and millions of others(including me) face these crossroads at some point in their lives and sometimes it feels like after you take the first step the universe opens up for you.. Rani Chopra

  14. I have felt like this so so many times that now I have stopped counting…and I write about it (yes…you read my blog!)…but I have started to take decisions that make ME happy … I have started giving myself due credit for what I do and for what I intend to! At the end of the day, I am just going to be happy with what little I have achieved and if I feel I am limiting myself and I might push up my expectations. The single most thing still remains is what makes you happy…!

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