Valentines Day debrief!

Early 20th century Valentine's Day card, showi...

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I used to detest Valentines Day. It was that dreaded day of the year where, once again, I would find myself single, lonely and staring daggers at any loved up couples that happened to cross my path. I slowly became one of those people, that as the 14th of February rolled around yet again, I would be cursing and complaining that it was just another commercialised day for companies to make money from suckers.

It was pure jealousy and loneliness talking, as well as the repetitive thought that echoed in my mind that I would never find anyone. I was also deathly shy and a chronic blusher, and had such a hard time summoning the courage to even talk to a guy I was remotely attracted to. I tried to fool myself into thinking that I had better things to focus on than boys but deep down I wanted someone, anyone, badly – be it study, work, travel or reading…anything else.

As a late starter, I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 23, and even then, it wasn’t because we had a connection, or any spark, it’s just because I had started to think it was weird that I hadn’t been with anyone yet, plus the fact that some of my friends started telling me there was something wrong with me, and some family started to think I was perhaps gay. So, I embarked on a relationship, half-hearted. 3 ½ years later I finally woke up to my senses, causing a fair bit of heart-break in the process – only not to my heart. I am actually happy to say that my tune has now changed. I guess it helps that I met someone I clicked with and am in a good relationship. I think it also helps that I’m more comfortable with myself now, and think I was pretty ridiculous thinking that I would never meet anyone. And so what if I didn’t?! There is so much more to life.

I know a lot of people say that you shouldn’t need the excuse of this one day in a year to express your love and do something special for someone. But, I think it’s a nice thought, especially in a day and age where we all are so busy and get caught up in the rat race. Denis and I had a lovely time yesterday. We went on a date and had dinner at a lovely, quaint restaurant in the Swan Valley, seated at a table on the decking overlooking the water. Plus he gave me perfume and jewellery! I am feeling very spoilt and loved up right now.

25 thoughts on “Valentines Day debrief!

  1. I’ve been divorced for 19 years, Janine, and I’ve raised four daughters (including twins) on my own. Years ago, I used to resent all my co-workers when they talked about their Valentine’s Day plans, gifts, beautiful cards, sentiments, and special little somethings from their significant others.

    I’m not really sure why I felt that way. I guess I was just feeling left out since I didn’t have anything to lend to the conversations except to say, “That’s wonderful — I’m so happy for you.”

    Now I really enjoy and look forward to Valentine’s Day. It’s actually my favorite holiday. When you think about it, EVERYTHING about Valentine’s Day is centered around love! And there’s so much about my life that I love and that I love sharing with others.

    As far as companionship, I’m never alone. I have two four-legged furry friends who fill my heart with love and laughter.

    Prince Charming? I’m sure he’ll pull up on his horse one of these days. 🙂

    • Lovely! I have a loving four -legged friend too. What type are yours? Is that a golden retriever in your pic?
      I remember a few of my girlfriends always used to get together and have a picnic on valentines day as we were perpetually single – we had a lovely time.
      You are so true – it’s all about love – no matter what form.

  2. I love this, Janine–so incredibly sweet!
    I had my first relationship at 22–just because he happened to like me. What a waste of 3 years!
    And then I met my husband-to-be, and let myself fall in love for the first time.
    I know you read my blog, so you know my story. 🙂 It’s been nearly a year since he left, and at nearly 33, I’m not sure how I feel about love or relationships. And I, too, am grateful for my furry babies (although mine are feline!)
    Hearing the different stories of those of us in the TLC group is giving a great picture of different thoughts and opinions surrounding Valentine’s Day, all depending on where we’ve been and where we are now. I love how we’re creating a mosaic of experiences all around one day. This was a great day to post!
    Wishing you all good things for your relationship. ❤

  3. This is so honest and hopeful, Janine! =) Seeking love in all the wrong places (and denying it) has definitely brought me to all the wrong places. =P

    I met a Peruvian poet today who told me that happiness wasn’t a goal. Instead, you live happiness in a series of accumulating moments, especially when you share them with others. And he didn’t mean with a partner. He meant moments such as when you see a child’s eyes light up in understanding after teaching them something, connecting deeply with a person who has the same specific interest as you, and the like. I wonder if we can live love in the same way.

    • I love what you have shared with us about meeting the Peruvian poet. Isn’t it surreal how you have those moments in time which carries so much meaning and can really impact on the way you think in life. I totally agree with what he has said about treasuring those moments.

  4. Hi Janine. I have many friends who have gotten divorced and feel they will never find someone. I find that it happens when you least expect it. I was married for 24 years and was certain I would never find anyone else. But when I knew that I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than with my ex – I knew I was making the right decision. Fast-forward to today. I have been with Dave for what will be 4 years next month. Love is wonderful – especially the second time around :). Glad you found someone too!

    • Thanks for sharing your story Julie. You sound very happy now, and I’m so glad you have found someone. The way you felt sounds like someone I know, who finally got out of a volatile relationship after years of being trodden into the ground, and then thinking that she would never find anyone. I’m pleased to say she is now the happiest I have ever seen her with her ‘new’ husband.

  5. So happy to hear about all the “Second chances”!! It’s uplifting and hopeful to know that things can be wonderful the second time around. I’ve been looking (wishing, hoping, praying) for a partner for almost two decades since my divorce but I’m a very patient person. So I’m willing to wait another twenty if that’s what it takes! 🙂

  6. Janine, I also used to be deathly shy and a chronic blusher, and I thought I’d never grow out of it. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I really started coming out of my shell. I wouldn’t say that I ooze confidence or anything, but I’ve definitely gotten better. And you’re right – there’s SO much more to life than being in a relationship. Good for you for realizing that (many people relationship-hop their whole lives because they refuse to be alone). At any rate, I’m glad you enjoyed your V-day this year!

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