Loss at Christmas

Death is inevitable – ‘Just like taxes’ – or so I’ve been told numerous times this year.  But when you lose someone important in your life, it can affect you in all sorts of ways…days, weeks, months and years down the track –  with those special occasions being especially challenging.  I always heard that the onset of Christmas (and the actual day) was one of the hardest.  I guess that’s what my family is experiencing.

It’s been about 6 months since Nan passed on.  In a way it’s gotten easier, but the memories live on, and sometimes the thoughts coming trickling back, or – like yesterday – hitting me like a tsunami.

Nan and Me - Christmas 2009

I know I’m not alone though.  My dear Uncle, who lived with Nan for his whole life, still has the feeling that he will get back from his night shift with a beer waiting for him on the kitchen bench. A nice ‘night’ cap before going to bed.  My Mum has been walking around the shops christmas shopping, with a little tear in her eyes, at it was at Christmas we would always put the most thought into the gifts for my Nan (and her Mum).  Me. I’m also missing that.  I opened my underwear draw the other day – where I place a few special mementos (right next to the bed) – and remembered that’s where I had put what I gave Nan last year. Mum gave them back to me a few months ago.  It was an ornate, silver lipstick holder and a old-fashioned mesh jewellery pouch. Unfortunately she’d never gotten the chance to use them, as she declined rapidly after Christmas 2009.  I loved shopping for my Nan at Christmas.  I still go into shops and see things that I would love to spoil her with.

At least the people that are left can cherish these thoughts – the memory of that beautiful woman – and celebrate Christmas together.

2010 has been a hard year for so many people, but I think nearing the close of the year we should use this time as an opportunity to also come together, celebrate our friendships, family, successes, failures, life, trade a whole load of hugs, and most of all just have a laugh.

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5 thoughts on “Loss at Christmas

  1. Janine, I lost my father 4 years ago and although it’s been tough on me I know it’s been harder on my mom and the holidays are just more reminders. But with every year it gets a little easier. I asked my dad once if he missed his parents (he lost them both 6 months apart) and he said “Yes, I miss them, but it doesn’t hurt the way it used to”. There’s something to be said about time and how it can help us. So you hang in there and know that your Nan is just fine and you will too in time. In the meantime, just enjoy life for what it is and I will make sure to take your advice as well.

  2. When I loose someone I’m not sad. I insist thinking they still are with us, in some way. I think death is only a changing for their body, they becaome like light and maybe we don’t see them anymore but they stilla are here. i know this is my opinion but I hope everyone could think so, it would be less painful to think in this way.

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